Morning, 7/31/07

The flowers on the altar are drooping as I sit down to meditate. Setting the timer and draping a light blanket over my shoulders, I begin. Breath comes light and natural. Sounds come to the fore: the cat prowling among books and papers on the bed, settling in his place; a train blowing its whistle at a crossing; the laughter and joyful voices of children playing; the droning flight of a fly. Mind wanders to surfing the web. Then, I'm skiing. A feeling comes of different "rooms" in the mind where each activity takes place, momentary lapses and falling into a sleepy state. I fall into a big slump and am startled awake. The thought comes that there is always something in the nature of things as they are that startles me awake when I begin to slump into sleepiness. I will take this observation into my day and notice if this happens as I go about my day: What in the nature of things as they are prompts me to wake up when I have begun to slump into sleepiness?

Morning, 7/25/07

Sitting, legs crossed at ankles, I hold a crystal in my left hand. (When re-reading my journal, I realize I had been holding the crystal in my right hand. Awareness of my confusion of left and right.) I soon become aware of my presence in my body. I become aware that early on, my hand loses the sensation of holding the crystal. Does the brain register it as something "normal" that has been there for a while and offers no threat and soon passes under the threshhold of sensation? The mind takes little side trips, but soon returns to present awareness. I become aware that I have lost awareness for some time, bring the mind back to center. Becoming aware of beads of sweat popping out on forehead and upper lip. I become aware that I am imagining writing about my meditation experience, starting to write down the date at the top of the page, not knowing what date it is. What part of my mind is unaware of the calendar date? I become aware that the timer is about to ring, open my eyes, six seconds to go. Beep, beep, beep.

Morning, 7/12/07

Sitting to meditate, I notice that my sinuses are congested. I stop the timer, get up, and blow my nose. I reseat myself with a blanket around my shoulders, holding a crystal to ground me and as an aid in bringing me back to the present when my mind wanders. And wander it does. In the sleepy state of early morning I am slow to recognize when it has wandered. But, when I do, I bring it back. Several episodes of drifting into a sleep state, body slumping. When the awareness comes of what has happened, I bring myself back to center, adjust posture, and continue.