Sounds

Sitting with the intent of cultivating a gentle presence, a gentle awareness. My first impression is of the peacefulness of silence. Then I begin to hear things: the rumbling of my stomach as it digests my food. I hear the ringing in my ears, a high-pitched white noise effect. I hear the droning sound of an engine from outside. It seems like it arrives in waves, as if the sound is baffled by the buildings between me and its source. I recognize the sound as a train engine as soon as I hear the horn. My thoughts seem to have a sound to them, thinking and categorizing these various sounds: sounds that come from within my body, sounds that come from outside, sounds that others can hear, sounds that only I can hear. There are sounds that are not really sounds: thoughts that are formed into words in my mind which would have sound if spoken. There are imaginary sounds: I think I hear a sound like crickets singing, but I think it's formed in my mind from the interaction of all the other sounds. And then silence, and I go away into a sleepy state where I experience no sound, no awareness, no presence. I only know I've been there when awareness returns.