Evening

Sitting in the meditation room. I notice that my mind is rehashing conversations from the day, with some amusement. So this may be entertainment for the mind. I am aware of the words in my head, like a voice, not audible, but just thoughts. I am thinking in words tonight. And then when I am able to detach from the train of thoughts for a few seconds and just rest in the experience of the moment, my breath, my feelings of sitting here, my evaluation voice comes up, "Oh, here we go, we're doing good now," which of course is not resting in the experience; it's judging and evaluating the experience. And then I got caught in thinking about what I might write after the meditation. Thinking about writing about my meditation experience is neither meditation nor writing . I notice the sound of the water running on the lawn outside, a sort of pulsing whoosh, the rhythmic sound of the droning train engine and the clacking of the wheels on the rails, the rhythm of my heartbeat. I notice small muscle twitches in my face. And then, as I begin to feel like I'm settling, the thoughts no longer dominating my experience, the timer goes off.