Evening, 8/5/07

I begin meditation with my eyes open and do the trick of softening my gaze and relaxing my face so that I'm not really looking at anything in particular. But, it seems difficult to relax when my eyes are open. So, I go ahead and allow them to close. When I sat down to meditate, I had to pick the cat up off the cushion. I tried to do this in a gentle way so that he wouldn't be upset, but he had his mind set on sitting on the cushion and didn't want to be moved. I picked him up and tried to comfort him, but he just wanted down and left the room and didn't return during my meditation time. So, some of my thoughts during meditation go to the cat. After closing my eyes, I start to feel tension in my neck and relax that. It seems that when my eyes are closed, I am more in touch with my body and can quickly pick up cues about small lapses in my posture and correct them before they become slumps. My mind wanders, and I find myself being let into a prison cell, visiting someone in solitary confinement, which I think is odd because in solitary, I assume that people don't get visitors. That vision fades as I again come back to a more conscious state. Listening to the water running outside on the lawn, a sort of roaring, whining whoosh.

If the prison scene was a dream, which I suppose it was in a way, I would understand the person in the prison cell and the visitor both as parts of myself. (They arose within my mind). And I would ask myself who is the "I" who is in solitary confinement? And who is the "I" who is visiting the prisoner? (Well, I suppose it's true I don't get out much, what with working and working at home:-)) I'll give some thought to how I imprison myself and what I can do to set myself free.