Evening, 8/9/07

I put off sitting tonight, practiced some avoidance behavior, reading for a bit. Still doing the hour of housework before I start meditation. That seems to be working well. My mind is strange. I wanted to get the housework done so I could meditate. And, then when it was time to meditate, I put it off by doing something else. Then I went downstairs to meditate. I had a short time of sleepiness. When I became conscious that I had been in a sleep state, I was conscious of the word, yoga. (I had been reading Yoga Journal before going downstairs to meditate.) Restlessness then came on the scene. My hands were in the same nested pose that I have used in the past. The sensation of each hand touching the other had left. And, there was just a vague sensation of hands touching, feeling like my hands were forming a big ball of yarn or were in a muff. I wanted to move my hands so that I could renew the feeling of sensing my hands touching each other. I resisted moving and alternated with staying with the feeling in my hands and just lightly attending to the feeling and observing what would happen with the feeling. The feeling of restlessness became more neutral, so that the urge to move was not so strong. But the feeling of the lost sensation of my hands touching each other remained. Wondering when the timer is going to go off, also the wish that maybe it has already gone off, and I didn't hear it, wanting the session to be over. A brief period of sleepiness, maybe avoidance of the feeling of wanting things to be done.