Evening 8/30/07

Thoughts of all the things stored in boxes in the basement that I have dragged around with me for years from place to place, town to town. For years it seemed I had lived too fast to have time to go through stuff and throw out the irrelevant. But, now that I've been settled in the same place for the better part of twenty years and still haven't gone through and thrown out, I have to wonder why I hang onto those useless ephemera of times past. Is it that as long as I have the stuff, I think there is the possibility of going back in time, rearranging things so that the events of the past can be replayed, changed, other choices made? Have I been indulging myself in magical thinking for so many years of my life? Time to wake up. After this reverie, I notice that I feel more calm, less agitated, more accepting of things I cannot control.