Morning, 9/14/07

I did not meditate last night because I was really tired. Maybe this was avoidance, or maybe I was just giving myself a little slack. Anyway, here I am today, sitting on the couch in the morning sun, feeling a little bleary. Morning is not my optimal time. So I sit, feeling a little congestion in my nose, tiredness and tightness around my eyes. But, as I sit, I feel balanced, aware, and grounded. I hear the usual noises: freight trains blowing their whistles, my heartbeat. Breath settles into its own natural rhythm. Cycles of alert awareness alternate with drifting off. The alert awareness feels like a bright emptiness. When I drift off this time, there is no slumping, just a slight shift in the body's alignment, which is almost immediately brought to conscious awareness by a little twinge of startlement. That feels like a slight electric shock, a little lightning jolt in the body and mind. And, the mind comes back, and the body straightens itself in a natural way. I don't want to make any evaluation about progress because I could fall on my face tomorrow. But, I'm where I'm at today. Thoughts pop in here and there, but I don't follow them. In my mind's eye, visions of swirling lights, simply noting them.