Evening, 9/23/07

During tonight's meditation I realized that during the last meditation session I had been somewhat too harsh in dismissing my thoughts by labeling them "thinking." I was acting in an almost aversive way toward my thoughts, and in the period of time after meditation I hardly remembered what my thoughts had been. So this time, I'm being a little more gentle with my thoughts, realizing that it's one of the mind's jobs to think. I feel a pricking sensation in my lower back on the left side, like the prick of a needle, several times. Thoughts arise and pass on their own without having to label them. And then there is an instance in which I get lost in thought, sort of daydreaming. And I can distinguish between noticing thoughts arise and pass and following a thought until I don't even realize I am thinking and become unconscious of the thought itself. It just runs on. There is a subtle, but vast, difference. Thoughts can arise; I can notice them while still attending to my breath. I can be aware of the thoughts and breath at the same time until the thoughts just drift along on their own. I don't have to drift along with them. I also notice that the thoughts have a voice inside my head, my own voice, so I am sort of hearing my own thoughts inside my head. So, the mind has its own ears as well as its own eyes (the mind's eye). I drift off in thought for a moment, and the cat leaning against me while he bathes himself wakes me up. I notice a slight shaking, rumbling sensation and moments later, I hear a train whistle. It seems I am picking up subtle sensations. Thoughts and sensations, all parts of passing phenomena.